Apr. 28th, 2017

akinoame: (Kouichi)
Okay, let's start with the fun, shall we?

Read more... )

And now onto the not-so-fun stuff. Right now, I'm putting my latest, completed, fic on hold. Yes, it's done, but it's not completely edited, and I can't think of a title. Trying to look at it is really messing up my head right now. And while I know, I shouldn't get this upset about a fic...over the last year, I've started to suspect I might have depression. Or a version of it, anyway. Maybe dysthymia if it continues like this for another year. I'm not super-depressed all the time. But when I have bad days, I have very bad days. And last May was about 31 days of bad ones. And February, after my car accident, I was having some bad episodes too. It's worse when I'm by myself.

But yeah, until I can get my brain back under control, I don't think I'll be doing anything major in terms of writing. I can't get excited enough about it to get anything coming, even though just a few weeks ago, I had tons of ideas.

Ultimately, I know the best thing for me is to get out of my work environment, but that's not really an option right now, if only because nothing I've applied to, whether it's a new job or grad school, has panned out. And those rejections take a toll too, making everything worse. And I really can't take much in the way of time off because my manager is on extended leave because of a family medical emergency, and even if she wasn't, all of our sister schools have to meet and talk about what vacations we're going to take if we're even planning to take any. Then, half the time when I actually get a day off, I wind up sick because my immune system finally gives up. So...it's not fun, and I'm sorry if I haven't been all that much fun to be around lately or if I've let anyone down in any way. Just wanted to let you know why.

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Akino Ame

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