Fic revision

[akinoame]

Yay, chapter 1 is once again complete! I don't think there's as much to clean up in chapter 2, although it's two pages shorter and could probably use some expansion on things. Maybe take my time a little more on some stuff, especially since my goal is to have a bit more balance between Hina and Ankh in terms of focus. And then I can figure my way out of my block on chapter 4, which is "I actually hit the perfect spot to end on the chapter...but it's half the length of the rest of the chapters, and I can't do that to myself."