Covid stuff
Apr. 11th, 2020 02:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
akinoameSo my anxiety's still pretty bad. This week is going to be really rough on me at work. Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, but I have to spend all day sleeping because I'm covering a coworker's midnight shift so she can have her birthday. Then I have two day shifts, and my next day off is another sleep day before my own two midnight shifts. I don't get a real day off until the 19th.
Writing hasn't happened at all this week. My brain is in no way able to focus. I'm having a lot of tremors and tension headaches from the anxiety. I'd love to write, but I can't think of a damn thing, even though this was a point in my fic where everything was pretty well plotted out. I've gotten my first good night's sleep in the past 3 days--yesterday was extremely bad, I was so tired.
I managed to make one face mask that I'm bringing to work. Mom helped me sew together one for my dad, which takes a lot of the pressure off of me. I can do all the pinning, but we don't have a working sewing machine, and I hand sew very slowly. She asked if I might want a sewing machine for my birthday--just a small one. That's worth considering. I admitted that we could put it on the desk in the hallway, and it might help keep some of my projects from piling up. I think it might honestly be a good idea. I really haven't put any thought toward my birthday, with everything going on.
It's funny how for some reason, I just really want to bake right now. Make my brown butter chocolate chip cookies, especially. Not for anyone else but for home. And how much I really want to bring pancakes for my meal break for my midnights. I don't know if the stress relief is from consuming sweets or making them. Might be just making them. I haven't really stress ate the way I often do when I'm stressed out? I think the overboard anxiety is just keeping me from feeling hunger until I'm about ready to collapse.
Another weird thing about the anxiety is that I tend to latch on to a specific show, so when I finish it, my brain can't switch over to "Well, let's just watch another thing I like." So I've watched all of the first two seasons of the new DuckTales and now that they're done, I'm kind of like "Well now what?" My mind can't sort over what to do next.
I really hope that I do get my approved 3 days off at the end of the month. I need some room to breathe, and I'm not getting that.
Writing hasn't happened at all this week. My brain is in no way able to focus. I'm having a lot of tremors and tension headaches from the anxiety. I'd love to write, but I can't think of a damn thing, even though this was a point in my fic where everything was pretty well plotted out. I've gotten my first good night's sleep in the past 3 days--yesterday was extremely bad, I was so tired.
I managed to make one face mask that I'm bringing to work. Mom helped me sew together one for my dad, which takes a lot of the pressure off of me. I can do all the pinning, but we don't have a working sewing machine, and I hand sew very slowly. She asked if I might want a sewing machine for my birthday--just a small one. That's worth considering. I admitted that we could put it on the desk in the hallway, and it might help keep some of my projects from piling up. I think it might honestly be a good idea. I really haven't put any thought toward my birthday, with everything going on.
It's funny how for some reason, I just really want to bake right now. Make my brown butter chocolate chip cookies, especially. Not for anyone else but for home. And how much I really want to bring pancakes for my meal break for my midnights. I don't know if the stress relief is from consuming sweets or making them. Might be just making them. I haven't really stress ate the way I often do when I'm stressed out? I think the overboard anxiety is just keeping me from feeling hunger until I'm about ready to collapse.
Another weird thing about the anxiety is that I tend to latch on to a specific show, so when I finish it, my brain can't switch over to "Well, let's just watch another thing I like." So I've watched all of the first two seasons of the new DuckTales and now that they're done, I'm kind of like "Well now what?" My mind can't sort over what to do next.
I really hope that I do get my approved 3 days off at the end of the month. I need some room to breathe, and I'm not getting that.