World Lion Day (snippet)
Aug. 10th, 2024 04:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
akinoameSo it is World Lion Day, and in the middle of me trying to get my nerves calmed down enough to write, I once again have nothing Leo or Astra to offer.
...Or so I thought, because then I remembered I do have my favorite scene from what was Chapter 11, and with the rewrites, I may be able to restore it to exactly the way I was planning originally. It deals with the events of episode 40 of Ultraman Leo, but it is explicit with the gore that definitely would have happened, so warning for that.
I call this the "Let it Go" scene:
The cold burned at Leo’s feet as he walked through the snow, but he was used to it enough by now that he didn’t let it bother him. Sure, it would have been simple enough to surround his body with heat, like a thick, warm coat, but that would only make it harder to move—melting the snow into slush and letting it re-freeze into slick ice. It was the kind of shortcut Zero would take, and it was the wrong choice.
He let out a sigh, watching his breath crystalize in the air. He hadn’t meant for that thought to come out; he wasn’t supposed to be criticizing Zero right now, not when he was the one who’d made a mistake. But still, the question remained: What was he going to do with his wayward student?
His heart ached. No one could seem to tell him what to do.
“Momoko,” he pleaded, naming the human girl he’d loved and lost so long ago. “How did you do it? Taking in both Tooru and Kaoru like that, when they’d just lost another parent?”
Part of him was tempted to transform into his human body, as if he would still be a twenty-year-old man and that when he closed his eyes, she would be right there with him, smiling without a care in the world. As if he could reach out and touch her, and her hands would be warm with life.
He hadn’t gotten the chance to hold her again. Her or Kaoru or Takeshi. Miyama Sakiko strictly refused to let him or Tooru see their gruesomely mutilated bodies from the wreckage of the department store and Silver Blume’s digestive juices. Even when Gen had argued, she’d said that he’d just seen enough horrors for one lifetime, losing all of MAC before his eyes. He didn’t need to see this. Let his memories of them be as they were when they were alive. Let that be what he saw when he closed his eyes.
Except that when Otori Gen closed his eyes, all he ever saw were flames, his Captain’s back, and his brother’s scarred face from such a similar massacre. And so, his imagination filled in the gaps of what must have been. What little Sakiko had told him was that Kaoru had died first, so quickly that she hadn’t felt it—the only consolation that could be offered to her brother. Takeshi’s skull was crushed and his body badly burned by the acid. He must have lost consciousness as his brain bled itself to death.
Momoko—brave Momoko, always a fighter, her life seemingly bound to her beloved Kuroshio Island—she held on the longest. She’d been trying to shield Kaoru, Sakiko said, and she was still alive when rescuers reached her. But her body had been crushed, turning her blood toxic, and the removal of debris allowed those toxins to flow into her healthy organs. Their haste to save her had killed her.
In Leo’s mind’s eye, Momoko stood on mangled legs, dripping blood on the white snow. Her eyes were red, the vessels broken as she stared at him, sympathy in her gaze. If she were solid enough to touch, her hands would be like ice.
“Momoko?” he asked quietly. “What do I do? I did the best I could with Tooru, before asking Sakiko to take care of the rest. I think he turned out pretty well, all things considered. But Zero…”
He could see Takeshi and Kaoru too, their bodies broken, and tears burned in his eyes. Takeshi had blood and gastric juices staining his clothes, and part of his head looked as if it had caved in. Gen pictured him in a tuxedo, even though he knew he would have been in his normal clothing—the others had gone to help him shop ahead of his wedding. Kaoru, her neck leaning forward from the internal decapitation that killed her, her chest caved in from Momoko’s body and all of the debris covering her, held the doll they’d found near her body—a promise from Momoko, a reward for being so good lately. Tooru had lived because he’d been acting up again in school, and Momoko punished him by making him stay home.
If Kaoru had been bad too, Momoko wouldn’t have gone to help Takeshi, and maybe he would have put the whole thing off until Gen was off-duty and could have protected him. Then maybe they all would have lived.
But MAC still would have died. The Captain still would have chosen to die with it. There was never an outcome that didn’t force Leo to lose someone.
“Is that how it has to be?” he asked them. “No matter what I do, I still can’t save everyone? Nothing I do is ever going to make a difference?”
“Otori,” Momoko said softly, her voice sweet and flute-like above the wind. “Being sad and lonely doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”
She’d said this about Kaoru, and her voice wasn’t as kind then. She’d been angry that Gen hadn’t intervened when Kaoru was acting up, that he was too willing to make excuses for her and for Tooru because of what they’d been through.
“I have been calling out Zero’s behavior,” he admitted. “This time, it’s my fault.”
Her eyes were still gentle, and Takeshi looked just as sympathetic. Gen could feel his throat closing up as he asked, “Can you forgive me, Takeshi? For not saving you? For making your bride a widow before your wedding day? Kaoru?”
Kaoru pouted as she looked down at her doll. “Otori, you always have to go to work when we’re having fun. But that’s okay. You’re keeping us all safe.”
It was a sentiment she and Tooru had never really expressed in words before, but Gen had always seen it after he came home safely and tried to make up for all of his broken promises.
He smiled at long last, and he could see Kaoru grinning brightly and his friends smiling confidently. “You’re right. I think I’ve lost sight of that, that I need to make my intentions clear and do everything I can to make up for things. Thank you all.”
The grief and guilt cleared, allowing him to finally see them as they had been when they were alive, the way his memories should have kept them. And then they vanished into the wind and snow, leaving Ultraman Leo to turn and make his way back to camp.
...Or so I thought, because then I remembered I do have my favorite scene from what was Chapter 11, and with the rewrites, I may be able to restore it to exactly the way I was planning originally. It deals with the events of episode 40 of Ultraman Leo, but it is explicit with the gore that definitely would have happened, so warning for that.
I call this the "Let it Go" scene:
The cold burned at Leo’s feet as he walked through the snow, but he was used to it enough by now that he didn’t let it bother him. Sure, it would have been simple enough to surround his body with heat, like a thick, warm coat, but that would only make it harder to move—melting the snow into slush and letting it re-freeze into slick ice. It was the kind of shortcut Zero would take, and it was the wrong choice.
He let out a sigh, watching his breath crystalize in the air. He hadn’t meant for that thought to come out; he wasn’t supposed to be criticizing Zero right now, not when he was the one who’d made a mistake. But still, the question remained: What was he going to do with his wayward student?
His heart ached. No one could seem to tell him what to do.
“Momoko,” he pleaded, naming the human girl he’d loved and lost so long ago. “How did you do it? Taking in both Tooru and Kaoru like that, when they’d just lost another parent?”
Part of him was tempted to transform into his human body, as if he would still be a twenty-year-old man and that when he closed his eyes, she would be right there with him, smiling without a care in the world. As if he could reach out and touch her, and her hands would be warm with life.
He hadn’t gotten the chance to hold her again. Her or Kaoru or Takeshi. Miyama Sakiko strictly refused to let him or Tooru see their gruesomely mutilated bodies from the wreckage of the department store and Silver Blume’s digestive juices. Even when Gen had argued, she’d said that he’d just seen enough horrors for one lifetime, losing all of MAC before his eyes. He didn’t need to see this. Let his memories of them be as they were when they were alive. Let that be what he saw when he closed his eyes.
Except that when Otori Gen closed his eyes, all he ever saw were flames, his Captain’s back, and his brother’s scarred face from such a similar massacre. And so, his imagination filled in the gaps of what must have been. What little Sakiko had told him was that Kaoru had died first, so quickly that she hadn’t felt it—the only consolation that could be offered to her brother. Takeshi’s skull was crushed and his body badly burned by the acid. He must have lost consciousness as his brain bled itself to death.
Momoko—brave Momoko, always a fighter, her life seemingly bound to her beloved Kuroshio Island—she held on the longest. She’d been trying to shield Kaoru, Sakiko said, and she was still alive when rescuers reached her. But her body had been crushed, turning her blood toxic, and the removal of debris allowed those toxins to flow into her healthy organs. Their haste to save her had killed her.
In Leo’s mind’s eye, Momoko stood on mangled legs, dripping blood on the white snow. Her eyes were red, the vessels broken as she stared at him, sympathy in her gaze. If she were solid enough to touch, her hands would be like ice.
“Momoko?” he asked quietly. “What do I do? I did the best I could with Tooru, before asking Sakiko to take care of the rest. I think he turned out pretty well, all things considered. But Zero…”
He could see Takeshi and Kaoru too, their bodies broken, and tears burned in his eyes. Takeshi had blood and gastric juices staining his clothes, and part of his head looked as if it had caved in. Gen pictured him in a tuxedo, even though he knew he would have been in his normal clothing—the others had gone to help him shop ahead of his wedding. Kaoru, her neck leaning forward from the internal decapitation that killed her, her chest caved in from Momoko’s body and all of the debris covering her, held the doll they’d found near her body—a promise from Momoko, a reward for being so good lately. Tooru had lived because he’d been acting up again in school, and Momoko punished him by making him stay home.
If Kaoru had been bad too, Momoko wouldn’t have gone to help Takeshi, and maybe he would have put the whole thing off until Gen was off-duty and could have protected him. Then maybe they all would have lived.
But MAC still would have died. The Captain still would have chosen to die with it. There was never an outcome that didn’t force Leo to lose someone.
“Is that how it has to be?” he asked them. “No matter what I do, I still can’t save everyone? Nothing I do is ever going to make a difference?”
“Otori,” Momoko said softly, her voice sweet and flute-like above the wind. “Being sad and lonely doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”
She’d said this about Kaoru, and her voice wasn’t as kind then. She’d been angry that Gen hadn’t intervened when Kaoru was acting up, that he was too willing to make excuses for her and for Tooru because of what they’d been through.
“I have been calling out Zero’s behavior,” he admitted. “This time, it’s my fault.”
Her eyes were still gentle, and Takeshi looked just as sympathetic. Gen could feel his throat closing up as he asked, “Can you forgive me, Takeshi? For not saving you? For making your bride a widow before your wedding day? Kaoru?”
Kaoru pouted as she looked down at her doll. “Otori, you always have to go to work when we’re having fun. But that’s okay. You’re keeping us all safe.”
It was a sentiment she and Tooru had never really expressed in words before, but Gen had always seen it after he came home safely and tried to make up for all of his broken promises.
He smiled at long last, and he could see Kaoru grinning brightly and his friends smiling confidently. “You’re right. I think I’ve lost sight of that, that I need to make my intentions clear and do everything I can to make up for things. Thank you all.”
The grief and guilt cleared, allowing him to finally see them as they had been when they were alive, the way his memories should have kept them. And then they vanished into the wind and snow, leaving Ultraman Leo to turn and make his way back to camp.